The holiday period is hard to navigate sometimes. We can be surrounded by people and have so many events on but never feel more lonely. It’s such a blur. We can feel unheard, unseen, we can feel disconnected from ourselves, from our world, and from those around us. While we may feel lonely, we need to remind ourselves that this is often a transient state. It is forever changing and it’s not permanent. Why? Because lonely is an emotion and emotions are fleeting. Being alone on the other hand is physical. Being alone means physically being on your own in a place. At times you may wish to be around people and not be alone or feel lonely, while other times you wish to be alone and don’t feel lonely at all because you’re enjoying your own company, but also know that there are people you can turn to when needed (including pets!). Here are some tips on how to manage loneliness when it comes up:
Notice your thoughts, When we are feeling lonely, our thoughts can be incredibly painful. They might be very doom and gloom in their content and heavily focused on the negative. If you notice these types of unhelpful thoughts, bring yourself back to the present moment by noticing 5 things you can see around you, come out of your mind, and engage in a purposeful activity that feeds your soul.
Volunteer if you have spare time as it can feel meaningful to help services that need volunteers. Staffing can be scarce over the holidays so organisations will appreciate the extra help.
Talk to the locals at your local coffee shop or even your neighbours.
Strengthen existing relationships and schedule in 1 or 2 catch ups with trusted people who make you feel energised after spending time with them.
Limit the time you spend with people who drain your energy when you’re with them.
Make plenty of time for hobbies and interests so you have time for yourself and you can learn to enjoy your own company.
Sometimes long lasting feelings of loneliness and being alone can lead to feelings of anxiety and/or depression. If you think that this may be the case for you or you are unsure and need more help, give our team a call on (03) 9882 8874 to book an appointment.
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This blog was written and prepared by Dr Celin Gelgec – Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.