Experiencing difficulties with your mental health is extremely common and we know that accessing support is useful, especially if we obtain support early. But feeling nervous about asking for help is also very common and can lead to delays in starting treatment. A widely cited 2004 study by Wang and colleagues reported that the time between onset of symptoms and start of treatment can be 10 years or longer. So why is it so nerve wracking to link in with a psychologist?
I think underlying feelings of shame is a leading reason why people hesitate to access support. Mental health difficulties still aren’t normalised in our culture, and this is particularly so for men. We pride ourselves on being tough and pushing through and asking for help can leave us wondering if we’re weak somehow for not being able to manage alone. But we’re not really supposed to be able to handle things on our own and we’re not made to be able to tough everything out. Psychologists think it’s normal to ask for help and celebrate the brave step it takes to start therapy.
I also think that people can be embarrassed about their symptoms and afraid of judgement – sometimes worrying that their symptoms are strange or hard to understand, or perhaps worry that their difficulties aren’t serious enough to warrant professional support. But everyone deserves support no matter what the problem is or how big or small it might be. Just because someone else’s concerns are different doesn’t invalidate yours. Psychologists have also heard it all before and are used to supporting people with intimate matters. Psychologists are there to help you think through your challenges and therapy is a space safe from judgement.
I know that some people are worried about how confidentiality will be managed and this makes sense, especially if you need to talk about very intimate matters. It’s important to know that managing confidentiality is central to the work of a psychologist and psychologists receive several years of training on ethics, boundaries and managing confidentiality. Additionally, it is a condition of registration as a psychologist that they maintain your confidentiality which means psychologists take this aspect of their work very seriously. You can ask for a psychologist’s policy on confidentiality and we encourage you to have a conversation with them about privacy and confidentiality at any stage if you’re concerned.
Cost is another reason why someone might be nervous to reach out for support and this is understandable. There are several options available to consider. Some services for example bulk bill, some have low-cost sessions, most private practitioners have concession rates for those with health care cards and you can access a Medicare rebate for psychology sessions when referred by your GP. The first step is to talk with your GP (family doctor) about what support you need so that they can help you find a service or practitioner that you can afford.
I am also aware that something that discourages someone from asking for help is a prior bad experience with a psychologist or in counselling. If you had a bad experience the first time it is understandable that you might be hesitant before trying again. It’s important to know that even if you’ve had a bad experience in the past doesn’t mean it’s inevitable that it will occur again. Psychologists have different personalities, styles of working and levels of experience so have a think about what it might have been that didn’t work last time and consider trying something new. Spend some time exploring the profiles of psychologists online, ask if they’ll take a quick call so that you can see if you might be a good fit, ask someone you trust for a recommendation. And remember, if it’s not working, you can switch again. Sometimes it can take a few tries but when it starts to work, it is worth the effort. For more tips on choosing a psychologist have a look at our blog “How to Choose a Therapist” from March 2021, or “Finding the Right Psychologist For You” from August, 2022.
It can be a lovely feeling when you start to share your difficulties with someone who is good at listening, who is non-judgemental and who focuses their attention on you and your issue. It’s not an experience available to most of us in our busy and complex lives. If you’re struggling with your mental health and need some extra support, we hope you’ll reach out. It’s worth it.
If you would like to connect with one of our psychologists, call us on 9882 8874 or email us at admin@melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au
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This blog was written and prepared by Dr Tori Miller – Associate Director and Clinical Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.