R U OK Day is a suicide prevention charity that encourages us to check in with each other and ask a very important question – R U OK? This is a vital question to ask someone in need, especially if you’re picking up warning signs that they’re struggling. This year in particular a lot of us are struggling and will need someone to notice and to check in with us.
This year the theme is “There’s more to say after R U OK?” referencing how important it is not just to ask someone if they’re OK, but how to listen to their answer in a way that feels validating, reassuring and helpful.
So, first, how do you ask someone if they’re OK? It can feel nerve wracking to start a conversation like this but a way to start is to simply let them know gently that you’ve noticed some changes in them which has made you feel worried about how they are going. Then ask, R U OK? Sometimes people are closed and struggle to talk about their feeling so if you get the answer “I’m fine” or “everything is great”, you could try saying “OK, I hear you. But if you ever needed someone to talk to, I’m here to listen and I would be glad to try and help”.
But if someone says “no, I’m not OK”, what then?
1. Just listen and show them that you’re listening. Put down what you’re doing so they can have your full attention, face them with your body and make gentle eye contact.
2. Try using some gentle support statements like “I’m here to listen”, “that sounds really hard”, “have you been feeling this way for a while?” “that’s so tough” and “tell me more”.
3. Encourage action by making suggestions about how to get help. You could ask “how can I help?” “what has helped in the past?”, “is there anything you could do right now that might help?”, “have you considered seeing your GP?” or even “do you know that there is support for mental health available for you?”
4. Check in with them again to see how they’re going and whether they’ve been able to access further support.
Having a conversation with someone who is struggling is not always easy, but it’s worth doing because a conversation could change a life. For more resources on RUOK Day and how to have a conversation with someone about who is not OK head to the RUOK Day website https://www.ruok.org.au
If you or someone you know isn’t OK and would like help with their mental health, we’re here to help. Contact our admin team on 9882 8874 or visit our website melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au