A couple of weeks ago my husband was talking to me about a “thing” he had read called “revenge procrastination”. Now, he and I are both notorious for procrastinating and so this tweaked my interest. As I listened to what revenge procrastination was about, all I could think about was how relevant this explanation for why we procrastinate so much, especially when it’s bedtime, felt.
Revenge procrastination, or revenge bedtime procrastination, as it’s better known as, was a concept that came to light when it was tweeted by journalist Daphne K. Lee. In her tweet, Daphne stated that revenge bedtime procrastination was something that she learned about, and described it as something occurring when “people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours”. Sound familiar? I know it can certainly seem familiar for me, especially on the nights when I leave the clinic at 9:00pm after an almost 12 hour day. So what’s really going on behind revenge bedtime procrastination? At first thought, I thought to myself, why do we do this? Personally, I know I’m tired when I get home late, but I’m only making myself feel tireder by not getting to bed before midnight. Yet, I still get to bed past midnight on the nights I get home late, leaving little time for sleep. This is because I feel the need to wind down before getting to sleep and I’m sure many others who experience this phenomena will feel the same way.
So how can we manage revenge bedtime procrastination? Routines work differently for everybody, and I guess it also depends on what time you need to wake up the next day; but if you’re anything like me, and you still need to wake up relatively early, you’ll want to be getting a better night’s sleep as opposed to sleeping less.
If you’re also someone who needs downtime before bed, the following tips can help to ensure your needs are met.
Plan your day. This is something that I can find really helpful. When I plan my day it means that I am eating healthier, finding time for movement in my day, and also leaving time to unwind at night when I get home so I don’t feel like I am missing out. For example, in addition to a lunch break during the day, I have a break in my day from 5pm - 5:30pm. If I’m prepared, this is when I eat dinner at the clinic. I then see my last three clients of the day, and when I get home I have time to do other things I enjoy, and prepare for the following day. If I’m not prepared, getting home at 9pm is hectic, as I have to have time to eat dinner, (and sometimes cook it if it’s not ready), and then rush around to get ready for the next day, as well as trying to have some “me time” before bed. You can see that the latter option means I am getting to bed past midnight, as opposed to the first option which mostly enables me to get to bed around 11pm.
Stick to your boundaries. If COVID-19 taught us anything it was to slow down. The rat race of life can leave us feeling overwhelmed. In this instance we are more likely to want to have our time back so to speak. When you can, try to designate one day of the week (or at least 3 - 6 hours), where you have nothing planned. Leave this time to be spontaneous and to do what you want to do as opposed to doing something you feel you have to do. It’s ok to say No to things. If you have obligations, or family you need to care for, you will need the support of others to help you to take the time to yourself. This means asking for help. When you’re not used to having time to yourself it can be hard to give yourself permission to take the time. The more you give yourself permission, the easier it will get over time.
Prep your meals. Meal prepping can be a highly effective way to manage your time. Cooking in batches and freezing home cooked meals for example can really help take the pressure off especially if you’re home late. It also means eating healthier, feeling less stressed and overwhelmed, and you save time in the mornings if lunch is also already prepped. If meal prepping is something that you find to be boring then only do it on the days you know you’ll be working late, leaving the rest of the week to be spontaneous.
Have a bedtime routine. No matter what time you get to bed, it can really help to have a bedtime routine that is consistent most nights. This can give you a sense of routine and calm as you finish the day as you normally would no matter what time you get to bed. When you engage in an activity that is familiar it can make you feel like you are still meeting your needs. Another plus side to bedtime routines is that it is a wonderful opportunity for self-care.
While these tips can be helpful, they will not be helpful for everybody. Take what works for you, and leave what doesn’t. What I do hope this list does, is get you thinking about your own routine and how you can minimise those urges to revenge procrastinate at bedtime.
For support with managing stress and overwhelm give our team a call on (03) 9882-8874.
This blog was written and prepared by Dr Celin Gelgec. Clinical Psychologist and Director at MWG.