What is happiness, and how can I be happier? This is something that most people want to know and strive to achieve. For some people happiness can be spending time with their loved ones, to others it may be going for a hike, or reading a book, or spending time with a pet, or it can be all these things or none of these things - the thing is, happiness is a subjective experience. What will make you happy, may not make someone else happy, so when we talk about happiness, we are talking about a person’s enjoyment or satisfaction.
There are many benefits of being happy, such as enjoyment of life, success, and even studies have shown that happier people live longer. At the same time we should remember that forcing happiness is also unhealthy. As Russ Harris explains in his book ‘The Happiness Trap’, that sometimes the very effort to find happiness can actually be preventing you from achieving it, and really believing that you must be happy all the time is making you more unhappy. From here, he developed a model based on a popular psychological therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or ACT. In short, the purpose of ACT is to help you live a rich, full and meaningful life, while effectively handling the pain that inevitably comes your way, this includes feeling negative emotions from time to time. Although happiness is important and as humans, these days, we all want it, we should also recognise that not feeling happy all the time, or not being as happy as someone else, is okay too.
Saying this, there are some ways that we can increase our happiness and feel more enriched in life. We have listed 5 ways that have shown to improve mood and wellbeing.
Provide acts of kindness and spread positivity: Be kind to others and let yourself show people this too. You may compliment someone, or provide acts of kindness to someone, like carry an elderly person’s bags across the road for them or cook dinner for your family. The impact of seeing someone else happy because of you is bigger than you think.
Be positive and Practice gratitude: Keep a positive outlook on things and try see the good rather than the bad in situations. Think about a few things a day that make you happy and you are grateful for. They don’t have to be big things, it can be things like waking up to a sunny day, or having a cuddle from your pet, anything that you are grateful for in that moment. Write these things down or say them out loud. After doing this for a while, your brain gets use to seeing the positive.
Spend time with friends and family: Having close friendships and being close with family members can make a person happier because you can enjoy things together and bring each other’s moods up (given you have a good relationship). Having a good social network and support is very important for happiness and wellbeing.
Smile: Making a goal to yourself to smile a few times a day has been shown to be able to make you happier. Smiling at a person who walks passed you on the street, or someone you see regularly and don’t usually make any contact with, can actually make you feel better. You are showing yourself that you can connect with the community and have a friendly demeanour.
Practice self-care: Giving yourself time to relax and do something you love is super important when thinking about happiness. Charging your batteries and allowing yourself to just be in the moment, even for an hour or so a day, can help you feel happier throughout the day.
Remember that although happiness and being happy is important, there is nothing wrong with feeling less happy or low at times - it’s how we manage these emotions is what matters at the end of the day.
Our team at Melbourne Wellbeing Group thrives on promoting the mental health and wellbeing of people of all ages. If you or someone you know are having some struggles, give us a call to make an appointment with one of our team of Psychologists