Have you ever made a decision and instantly felt bad? Have you ever thought that you made the wrong one? We make several decisions every single day from what we are going to wear that day and eat, to possibly making life altering decisions. Sometimes decisions feel good and leave us with a sense of closure and comfort. Sometimes we feel like we made the wrong decision. However, the way we interpret our feelings is not always accurate so it’s important to pause, reflect, and ask yourself: “what is this feeling telling me right now?”. Thinking about it in this way helps us put language to what we are experiencing that is accurate. When we don’t use language accurately to describe what we are feeling it can really shape our experience and we can misinterpret it. This happens often when it comes to decision making because sometimes some decisions can make us feel “bad”, but it does not mean that you have made the wrong decision. Here are some examples of when that may be the case.

A decision is not “wrong” just because it was:

Difficult to make. Decisions are not easy. We can weigh up pros and cons. We can think and think and think and finally decide what to do. Just because it was difficult to make it doesn’t mean it was the wrong decision.
Accompanied by grief. Making decisions are hard. Sometimes they will be accompanied by grief. You can make the right decision AND feel sad about it.
Something you’ve never done before. Doing something for the first time is going to feel uncomfortable because you’ve never done it before. You’re learning. Discomfort doesn’t always mean something bad is happening. Sometimes discomfort means growth. If you’re feeling uncomfortable because you’re doing something you’ve never done before, it doesn’t always mean you’ve made the right decision.
Not liked by someone else. Once you start to set boundaries, not everyone will like it. Stick to your guns. We can’t please everyone all the time.
Different from what others would choose to do. It’s ok to do your thing.
Something you changed your mind about. It’s ok to change your mind. Doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

You can see in these instances that even the right decisions are accompanied by really painful feelings. This is why we need to use language in naming what we’re experiencing accurately so as not to lose track of the decision we have made. If you’ve made some tough choices lately, or you’re struggling to use language to help you navigate decisions, we’re here to help. Give our team a call on (03) 9882 8874 to book an appointment.

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This blog was written and prepared by Dr Celin Gelgec – Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.