Emotion Regulation: How Words Help Us Navigate Our Emotions

Emotions are a part of our everyday lives. They’re woven into our interactions, decisions, and even our physical responses. Yet, while emotions shape so much of our experience, they are often tough to articulate. There’s a profound reason why we sometimes feel a rush of anxiety, joy, or sadness before even understanding why—and that reason lies in how our brains are wired to feel before we think.

In her book, “Atlas of the Heart”, Brené Brown dives deep into this very concept. She describes how, at times, we can feel isolated or overwhelmed simply because we lack the words to describe what’s happening internally. When we can’t name our emotions, they can feel all-encompassing, consuming us before we get a grip on why they’re there. Language, it turns out, is not just a means of communication; it’s a bridge between the chaos of feeling and the clarity of understanding.

Why Naming Emotions Matters

Imagine a moment of intense frustration. Perhaps you’re at work, and something goes wrong. You feel your heart rate quicken, your muscles tense, and maybe a tightness in your chest. These sensations don’t arrive with an immediate label; they come in a wave, stirring a reaction before rational thought steps in. This is the body’s natural response to emotions, occurring even before the mind can catch up. And, in those moments, our ability to name the feeling can either fuel the storm or help calm it.

In her research, Brown identifies how vital it is to “name it to tame it.” When we can accurately label emotions, we can better understand and respond to them, allowing us to manage rather than be managed by our feelings. Naming an emotion also shifts it from a vague, overwhelming experience into something tangible and manageable.

When you call frustration what it is, you’re taking control. You’re no longer at the mercy of an ambiguous discomfort; instead, you’re addressing it directly.

Language as a Key to Connection

It’s not only ourselves who benefit from emotional language. Building a shared vocabulary for emotions creates a path toward understanding others. When you can express that you're not just angry, but disappointed or hurt, the people around you gain insight into your perspective. And when they, too, can name their emotions, they can share their experience more openly.

Brown’s work reminds us of the richness that comes with a diverse emotional vocabulary. For example, distinguishing between shame and guilt or anxiety and fear provides not just a deeper self-awareness but a greater ability to empathize. Recognising the difference in these feelings helps us to appreciate the layers in both our own experiences and those of others.

Expanding Your Emotional Vocabulary

Building a language around emotions is something we can cultivate at any age. Brown suggests that we start by learning to identify our core feelings, moving beyond “good” or “bad” into the complexity of what’s really there. Are you feeling rejected, or is it loneliness? Are you truly angry, or perhaps you’re disappointed? The journey to clarity begins by pausing, observing what’s happening in the body, and finding the words that resonate.

With this awareness comes an added bonus: resilience. When we’re able to process emotions, they have less power to disrupt our lives. Instead, they become part of a narrative we’re consciously shaping. Language allows us to integrate these feelings into our stories, transforming them from unprocessed experiences into moments of growth.

Feeling Before Thinking: Embracing Our Emotional Blueprint

We all feel before we think; it’s an intrinsic part of being human. Our brains are designed to send signals through the body when an emotional trigger arises, often before logic kicks in. This blueprint is essential—it keeps us alert, responsive, and connected. However, while emotions are immediate, reactions don’t have to be. With a language for our feelings, we create space to reflect, to process, and, ultimately, to choose our responses.

Language, then, isn’t just about expression; it’s about empowerment. It’s about being able to see our emotions not as obstacles, but as pieces of the human experience, ready to be understood and integrated. Brené Brown’s *Atlas of the Heart* serves as a testament to this journey, reminding us that words are more than a method of communication. They’re tools for connection, understanding, and—perhaps most importantly—healing.

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