Autumn is my favourite season, and this past week in particular has felt like autumn is set in and winter is on its way. This changing of the seasons brings memories of autumns past and the way, here in Melbourne, we spent them in lockdown. Now however, more than a quarter of the way into 2022 we’re living life without lockdowns and I’m listening to people talk about what a joyful, celebratory time it has been. Socialising and activities are back, most can work from the office at least part time, people are travelling and schedules are full again.
But in the same way, I’m also hearing people talk about anxiety and stress about how it feels to have returned to life ‘as normal’. I’ve heard people reflect on feeling stressed because their schedules feel overwhelming, and work is harder because they’re less productive when they’re in the office. Some are feeling sad about having less time at home with family and others are missing how easy it used to be to find quiet. I think it’s worth taking a moment to think about why life feels not quite right, right now.
I for one don’t feel ‘match fit’ a lot of the time. I’m finding restaurants noisy for example and movies overwhelmingly loud. I’m sure they were always this way, but after such a long period of time away from them, my sensory system needs to adjust. It makes sense that they don’t feel quite the same as they used to right now.
This idea about not being ‘match fit’ can explain some of the stress and overwhelm we’re feeling, because we’ve swung from busy lives to quiet lives and back to busy lives again. The executive skills we use to manage busy schedules are out of practice, and important organisation behaviours will be out of habit. These things will need some time to return. But, it’s also worth considering whether part of the problem is that we’re realising that ‘normal’ life pre COVID might actually have been overloaded, and or that we were spending our time prioritising things that we didn’t value. The discomfort we’re feeling now might be an important thing to listen to and respond to as there are no rules that we must return to the same kind of life we had before.
Adding to this, long periods in lockdown meant that we weren’t practicing our social skills and doing things like ‘chit chat’ can feel a little rusty now. And post COVID, we all have different levels of comfort about boundaries and human connection, and so life is full of slip ups and micro rejections - where we go to greet someone with a handshake for example only to have them try and avoid it. Awkward and uncomfortable but understandable and in need of time and patience.
The key here is to remember that we’re moving through a period of transition where we are psychologically, emotionally, and behaviourally adjusting to the way life is now and the way we are now. The past two years will have affected us all in different ways and as life is ever moving, there is no ‘going back’. We need to consider our expectations and whether we are expecting to feel and live the same as we did pre-pandemic, which may not be possible. While moving through this process, it is important to take care of ourselves. I hope these suggestions help you to find a way to manage any discomfort you’re feeling through this process.
· Start by acknowledging what you’re feeling without judgement and use self-compassion to treat yourself with kindness and respect. We’ve all been through a lot and we’re finding our way back. When you’re making plans, listen to your body and notice your reactions. Are you tensing up or feeling sick in your stomach? Are you putting something off repeatedly or avoiding texting someone back to make plans? There are lots of clues that you can tune into that will help you recognise what you’re thinking and feeling about something.
· Reach out to others for support if you’re finding it hard to manage. Talking through our problems is one of the best ways to gain insight and perspective.
· Write down all the things that are worrying you or contributing to stress and worry. This will help you gain a ‘birds eye view’ of the problem, and it will be easier to find solutions.
· Set some boundaries around life that feel right for you. This might be limiting how many activities you do on a weekend, being firm about how you spend your evenings, considering which places you’re ready to return to and who you’re comfortable to return to them with. Be clear with your friends and family about these boundaries and let them know you need to go at your own pace.
· Consider the strategies or behaviours that you are already using to manage any anxiety and stress and consider which ones are beneficial and which ones might be exacerbating the problem. Give yourself permission to let go of coping strategies that aren’t helpful, even if once upon a time they were useful.
· Explore your value system and take some time to think about what things make life feel meaningful. Consider what would make a day, week or month feel valuable and start to fill your time with those things. It might be exercise or time with friends and family, it might be more time reading or investing time and energy in a new project. Consider also that in adding new things that feel meaningful you might need to let go of things that no longer feel valuable.
· Remember too, that strategies such as meditation and mindfulness practices, progressive muscle relaxation, mindful movement, drinking a warm cup of tea or listening to a relaxation script can be extremely beneficial when you’re feeling out of sorts. There are a multitude of things you can try. Find a strategy that you connect with and build it into your day.
For support with your wellbeing, give us a call on 9882 8874 or visit our website www.melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au.