They say that we are creatures of habit, but why can we be so terrible at establishing habits that can be helpful for us? How many times have you said to yourself that you’re going to start to do something only to have it fail?
James Clear, the author of a must read book called “Atomic Habits”, talks about why we are not very good at establishing habits that are helpful, and what we can do about it. In this post I want to highlight some of what he talks about. One of the first things he mentions that is unhelpful, is this idea of wanting to focus on intensity when wanting to build habits rather than consistency. When we’re trying to set habits for ourselves, we can fall into the trap of thinking about it in an “all or nothing” way. We set expectations of what we should be achieving, which is often over and above what is realistic. For example, if you’re wanting to start to build exercise into your daily routine, you might set an expectation of going for a run at 5am 3 – 4 times a week, when you’ve never run before and when you’re not a morning person. When we set goals and expectations in an all or nothing manner (i.e., “If I’m not doing it the way I want to do it then I may as well not do it at all”), we are said to be focusing on intensity. James Clear states that in order to establish a helpful habit we first need to focus on consistency rather than intensity. Once we build consistency, we can more easily build on intensity of the habit. An example of this, expanding from the previous example, could be to choose a time that is realistic for you to work in a run that suits you and your lifestyle, not because someone else told you that you should run at 5am or in the morning. If you’re a morning person this is great, but if you’re not, don’t set yourself up for failure. Work it in at a time that works for you. Once you choose this time, you might just first start to set an alarm for the time that you want to go for the run and change into your running gear. That’s it. After a week or two, you may then put on your running shoes. You might then build on this by doing one lap around the block and so on and so forth. Once you’re consistently doing this, you can then focus on intensity and work towards the goals you have for yourself.
Another strategy James talks about when it comes to establishing helpful habits is what he calls “habit stacking”. Habit stacking is when you insert new behaviours you want to do into the middle of already established helpful routines. The idea behind this is that you start to create positive associations, and it helps you to be consistent. Habit stacking thus allows you to create a set of simple rules that can guide your future intended behaviours. For example, if you want to start reading before bedtime, you may do the following during your already established morning routine: wake up, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, wash your face, brush your hair, go back to your bedroom, get dressed, make your bed, place a book on your nightstand, and head to the kitchen to have breakfast. What you’ve done here is placed the book on your nightstand so that when you head to bed in the evening it’s sitting there waiting for you. You’ve also stacked this within an already established routine that has positive associations with it.
James Clear writes that no matter how you use these strategies you need to ensure that you select the right cue to start things off. The cue you use to start things off should also occur at the same time and as often as the habit you’re trying to stack it onto. For example, if you want to read every night, but you only make your bed once a week, then this is not a good choice. If you make your bed every morning, then this would be a good choice. If you’re trying to meditate 3 – 4 times a week then you might try to work this into something you know you do successfully that also occurs 3 – 4 times a week and around the same time.
Establishing habits are hard work but with these and other techniques that James Clear talks about, you may find yourself moving closer to the habits you want to have in your life that you know are going to be helpful.
For support one establishing helpful habits, give our team a call on (03) 9882 8874 to book an appointment. To subscribe and listen to our podcast “Breaking the Rules: A Clinician’s Guide to Treating OCD”, click on the following links: Spotify, Google Podcasts, and Apple Podcasts. Episodes will be released fortnightly and will simultaneously be published on our webpage here.
This blog was written and prepared by Dr Celin Gelgec – Clinic Director and Clinical Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group. Please note that this post was not a sponsored post. “Atomic Habits” by James Clear is available at all bookstores and online.