As we start approaching the end of February, and have well and truly moved beyond the holiday season, life starts to get busy again. For those of us who were lucky to have a break over the new year, I know that after returning to work for a few weeks, it can quickly start to feel like the time off was a distant memory. We are quickly reminded of all the responsibilities we have and the competing demands on our time, whether it’s school, work, looking after our kids, cooking, cleaning, socialising, making time for family, the list just goes on and on. Life can certainly be overwhelming at the best of times, and we also might have particular stressors on top of that. Together, this can mean that we do not always take the best care of ourselves, and our physical and mental health can really suffer as a result.
So, I think this blog is a really important one. Given that it is still early in the new year, there is still time to enforce good habits for the remainder of the year and moving forward. I think we need to take the time to be really intentional about how we take care of ourselves. We often encourage children to have a “time out” when they are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. I believe we can learn something from this as adults too. When life is feeling overwhelming, when stress is high and things are feeling too hard to overcome, sometimes having a time out can help.
Let’s explore the ways to have a helpful time out.
Identify where you will go for your time out
The location of your time out will depend on where you are. For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed while at home, can you take yourself to another room or go out for a walk? If you are at work, is there a private space like a break room you could go to, or somewhere outside? It can be really helpful to physically take yourself out of the environment where you are feeling the unpleasant emotions, even just changing rooms can have a big impact. Brainstorming some ideas for time out locations ahead of time is also recommended as it can be harder to think about it in the moment of distress.
Communicate
Often when we are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, we are around other people. An example that comes to mind is having a disagreement with your partner. If an argument is escalating and you notice yourself in need of a time out, communicating this is really important. As you can imagine, randomly walking away in the middle of an argument without saying anything can actually create more tension and anger in your partner. Instead, it can be helpful to respectfully assert the intentions behind the time out strategy, and let them know that you will be willing to re-connect and continue the dialogue once you have had some time away to calm down. Communicating your needs and respectfully asserting a time out can be helpful in many different situations.
Learn your warning signs
Sometimes our emotions are so advanced and distressing that we lose access to the part of our brain that remembers what healthy strategies to use. Therefore, it is helpful to be aware of the early warning signs that things are starting to escalate. These warning signs are unique to all of us, but some helpful tips can be tuning in to what’s happening in your body when you start to get stressed, what physical sensations do you notice and where do they show up? The next time you notice these sensations pop up it is a good hint to pre-emptively give yourself a time out before things escalate further.
Make the time out a healthy and effective one
During the time out, it is important to find ways to help you self-soothe. Again, what feels calming is unique to you, but explore different ways you can use the time effectively to calm the mind and the body. These kinds of tools are the things you can talk with your psychologist about in therapy.
If you would like to talk about this some more and develop your own unique way to have a healthy time out, give our team a call to arrange an appointment on (03) 9882-8874.
This blog was written and prepared by Hannah Gersh – Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.