Consent is a crucial concept that is easily overlooked when it comes to children's education. However, it is essential to teach children about the importance of understanding boundaries and respecting others' choices from an early age. Sexual consent is a critical aspect of personal development and healthy relationships, and it is crucial to start teaching children about consent to prevent sexual assault and boundary violations.
Teaching children about consent involves educating them on body autonomy and the right to say no. They must understand that nobody has the right to touch or be touched without their consent. By teaching children about consent, we empower them to retain control over their bodies and know their boundaries. This then helps them to develop assertive behaviours that can help them navigate challenging or threatening situations in the future.
Children who understand consent are more likely to develop healthy relationships that are centred around equality, respect, and trust. They understand that in any relationship, everyone has personal boundaries that must be respected, and these boundaries may differ from person to person. By understanding these boundaries and respecting them, children can develop healthy social skills and maintain positive relationships with their peers throughout their lives.
Teaching children about consent also helps to create a culture that promotes safety and respect. This includes teaching them how to ask permission before touching someone, even if it seems harmless, like a hug or a high five. It also encourages them to speak up if someone crosses their boundaries, and to respect others if they decline physical contact. These concepts can help to prevent situations that might escalate into harmful actions.
To help your child or children to learn about consent, here are some things that you can try:
Begin with the basics: Start with a definition of consent and emphasize that it is freely given and mutual. Explain what it means to say yes and what it means to say no in any situation. You can start this when your children are very young.
Encourage communication: Encourage your child to communicate openly with their friends and partners to ensure consent. Show them examples of how to ask for and get consent.
Discuss boundaries: Talk about personal boundaries and what they mean. Explain that boundaries should be respected and that everyone has different limits.
Discuss power dynamics: Discuss the power dynamics that can play a role in sexual and non-sexual situations, such as age, gender, and race. Explain why it is important to consider these dynamics when obtaining consent.
Use modelling: Show your child how to give and receive consent by doing it yourself.
Address peer pressure: Discuss how peer pressure can affect consent. Explain that it is never okay to pressure someone into doing something they are uncomfortable with.
Teach affirmative consent: Teach affirmative consent, where both people are actively engaged in the sexual and non-sexual activity and enthusiastic about the experience. Explain that silence or passivity is not consent.
Address consent in media: Discuss how the media portrays consent and why it is important to differentiate between portrayals of healthy consent and unhealthy situations.
Encourage ongoing education: Encourage your child to continue learning about consent and to seek out resources for more information. Remind them that consent is an ongoing process and that communication is key.
This blog was written and prepared by Dr Tori Miller, Clinical Psychologist and Associate Director. For support on issues of consent and boundaries, contact our team on 9882 8874 or email us at admin@melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au