No one right now needs to be reminded that life is full of challenges, because goodness knows 2020 was an extremely difficult year for Australians and people all around the world. And even outside of the context of the New Year’s Eve bushfires, COVID and our experiences in lockdown, life is generally full of stress, heart break, mental health difficulties and challenging emotional experiences. Taking a step back from reality is a very effective way of experiencing a few moments of respite to help cope with life’s hardships.
When escapism is helpful, it is when we take a moment to step out of our reality and experience a period of escape from the challenges of our lives. It can help to prevent burn out, can reduce our stress and can increase our feelings of hope, determination, courage and psychological strength. Television, books, movies, gaming, daydreaming, cooking and eating, sport, switching off social media, meditation and mindfulness are all very great ways to take a step back from life and experience some respite. There is no one way to escape as it is such a personal experience but everyone deserves to experience some escape so it’s worth thinking about what works for you.
Escapism and fantasy is a really important part of how we take care of ourselves but we do need to be careful about how far escapism goes because our use of escapism can tip over into avoidance. When escapism goes too far it can be damaging to our studies, work, relationships and our mental health. It’s important that escapism is used as a tool to help refuel rather than to persistently avoid life and stressors that need addressing. So how to tell the difference?
When we’re engaged in escapism in a helpful way it’s a form of self-care and we feel re-energised and replenished afterwards. Escapism is momentary and brief, reinvigorates us and helps us to return to reality with renewed strength to face our challenges. Avoidance however is when we’re using escapism to consciously or unconsciously ignore a problem or feelings that we’re uncomfortable experiencing. Avoidance can mean that we’re engaging in escapism so often that it is having a negative impact on our responsibilities and our relationships and that over time our underlying problems are remaining unaddressed. Where escapism is momentary, avoidance can be a way of life.
If you feel as though escapism has started to feel like avoidance don’t despair, because this something that most people experience at times in their life – avoidance is a very, very appealing coping mechanism even though it’s inherently unhelpful. When it’s time to return to reality, what to do?
· Consider what it is that you’re trying to avoid and escape from and why, and practice sitting with the difficult feelings that confronting those challenges brings. Meditation, mindfulness and breathing techniques are wonderful ways of helping to stay connected with reality in these moments and face the challenges that you’re experiencing.
· Think about when you are most likely to use escapism. Is there a particular situation, mood or sensation that triggers your desire to engage in escapism? Is this something that needs addressing?
· Think about how you feel after engaging in escapism. Does it leave you feeling refreshed and re-energised or do you perhaps feel agitated, irritable, disconnected or stressed?
· Set boundaries around your escapism. Read, watch, fantasise, play, create! But watch the time, watch for warning signs that you’re over-using escapism (such as missing a deadline, saying no to seeing friends too often, not getting enough sleep, getting feedback from others that you seem distracted) and set limits around your use to help you stay better connected with reality, responsibilities and relationships.
· Avoid using drugs, alcohol and gambling as your means of escapism as while they can bring temporary relief they can lead to larger and more significant difficulties and addictions over time.
· Check in to see if you’re using work as a means of escapism as many people bury themselves in work to avoid facing personal challenges like family, relationships, health and happiness.
· Consider managing the line between helpful escapism and avoidance by mindfully engaging in purposeful activities. You could try using the phrase “I choose…”. For example “I choose to take some time out to watch a movie”, “I’m choosing to watch some reality TV right now so I can have a laugh”, “I’m choosing to go for a walk to clear my head”.
If you need help managing the stressors of life or thinking through the aspects of life you’re avoiding we’re here to help. Contact our admin team on 9882 8874 or visit our website melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au
This blog was written and prepared by Dr Victoria Miller - Clinical Psychologist.