How to have a helpful time out

As we start approaching the end of February, and have well and truly moved beyond the holiday season, life starts to get busy again. For those of us who were lucky to have a break over the new year, I know that after returning to work for a few weeks, it can quickly start to feel like the time off was a distant memory. We are quickly reminded of all the responsibilities we have and the competing demands on our time, whether it’s school, work, looking after our kids, cooking, cleaning, socialising, making time for family, the list just goes on and on. Life can certainly be overwhelming at the best of times, and we also might have particular stressors on top of that. Together, this can mean that we do not always take the best care of ourselves, and our physical and mental health can really suffer as a result. 

So, I think this blog is a really important one. Given that it is still early in the new year, there is still time to enforce good habits for the remainder of the year and moving forward. I think we need to take the time to be really intentional about how we take care of ourselves. We often encourage children to have a “time out” when they are feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. I believe we can learn something from this as adults too. When life is feeling overwhelming, when stress is high and things are feeling too hard to overcome, sometimes having a time out can help. 

Let’s explore the ways to have a helpful time out. 

1. Identify where you will go for your time out

The location of your time out will depend on where you are. For example, if you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed while at home, can you take yourself to another room or go out for a walk? If you are at work, is there a private space like a break room you could go to, or somewhere outside? It can be really helpful to physically take yourself out of the environment where you are feeling the unpleasant emotions, even just changing rooms can have a big impact. Brainstorming some ideas for time out locations ahead of time is also recommended as it can be harder to think about it in the moment of distress. 

1. Communicate

Often when we are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, we are around other people. An example that comes to mind is having a disagreement with your partner. If an argument is escalating and you notice yourself in need of a time out, communicating this is really important. As you can imagine, randomly walking away in the middle of an argument without saying anything can actually create more tension and anger in your partner. Instead, it can be helpful to respectfully assert the intentions behind the time out strategy, and let them know that you will be willing to re-connect and continue the dialogue once you have had some time away to calm down. Communicating your needs and respectfully asserting a time out can be helpful in many different situations.

1. Learn your warning signs

Sometimes our emotions are so advanced and distressing that we lose access to the part of our brain that remembers what healthy strategies to use. Therefore, it is helpful to be aware of the early warning signs that things are starting to escalate. These warning signs are unique to all of us, but some helpful tips can be tuning in to what’s happening in your body when you start to get stressed, what physical sensations do you notice and where do they show up? The next time you notice these sensations pop up it is a good hint to pre-emptively give yourself a time out before things escalate further. 

1. Make the time out a healthy and effective one

During the time out, it is important to find ways to help you self-soothe. Again, what feels calming is unique to you, but explore different ways you can use the time effectively to calm the mind and the body. These kinds of tools are the things you can talk with your psychologist about in therapy.

If you would like to talk about this some more and develop your own unique way to have a healthy time out, give our team a call to arrange an appointment on (03) 9882-8874.

This blog was written and prepared by Hannah Gersh – Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.

What is Virtual Reality Therapy?

Virtual Reality (VR) Therapy is an evidence-based treatment supported and validated by years of psychological research. Despite this, a lot of people don’t know much about it. 

Traditional psychological therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy, exposure and response prevention and acceptance and commitment therapy are incredibly helpful and effective for a range of conditions. VR therapy can be used as an adjunct to these forms of therapy. 

VR therapy can be used with children, adolescents and adults experiencing a range of mental health issues like OCD, phobias, PTSD, social anxiety, stress management, panic disorder and difficulties with attention and concentration. 

For many of these conditions, exposure based treatment is the gold standard. However, there are certain situations that are hard to replicate or confront in reality. In addition, VR provides the clinician with more control over the situation to meet the specific needs of the person. VR allows us to repeat the situation as many times as necessary to help overcome the fear. And all of this is done in the safe environment of the therapy room. 

Here at Melbourne Wellbeing Group we have access to incredible VR technology to offer our clients. When meeting a client for the first time, our clinicians will always begin with an thorough assessment including gathering a history and information about the presenting problem, which will allow us to establish whether VR will be an appropriate option. If you and your therapist agree that VR would be helpful, your therapist will talk to you about what to expect from a virtual reality session. A VR session runs very similarly to a regular session, but a visual immersion device will be used to create a simulated environment that is relevant to you and your fears. Some examples of the simulated environments available in the technology include driving, flying, heights, tight spaces, social situations, crowded situations, exams, and more. Our therapists at Melbourne Wellbeing Group are specifically trained in working with VR and will talk you through everything you need to know and do during the session. 

Ultimately, VR is an exciting and beneficial way to face your fears in a controlled and safe environment.

If you think VR might be helpful for you and you are interested to explore further, give our team a call to arrange an appointment on (03) 9882-8874.

This blog was written and prepared by Hannah Gersh - Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.

How We’re Inspiring Girls at Melbourne Wellbeing Group

When girls are about 5 years old, all of the negative, dismissive, and discouraging comments they have heard and seen start to impact their dreams and aspirations. “Mostly boys are prime ministers”.  “You know, you have to be quite strong to do that, I don’t know if that’s a good job for girls”.  Girls start to believe that they are not as capable, intelligent, or valuable as boys and that they have less options. This is a phenomenon called the Dream Gap.

When girls are between 8 and 15 years old their confidence and self-esteem begins to decline. We live in a culture obsessed with diet and wellness culture and our mainstream media is super saturated with images of idealised beauty standards and messages about the importance of appearance. We encourage our girls to be ‘anything they want’ but we also tell them to avoid being ‘bossy’. Gender stereotypes are rife, perfectionism is celebrated and risk taking is discouraged. Representation of women in media is limited, girls are praised for being sweet, clean, and neat and girls are taught to value perfectionism over experimenting with risk taking and failure.

Research tells us that 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough at their performance in school and in their relationships with family and friends, (Dove Self-Esteem Fund, 2016). On this foundation, how can we realistically expect girls to make confident decisions about their education, career interests and futures?

In 2021, Melbourne Wellbeing Group became a proud corporate sponsor of an amazing charity called Inspiring Girls, a charity dedicated to raising the aspirations of young girls around the world by connecting them with female role models. Inspiring Girls understands the need for girls to be exposed to aspirational women working in different sectors, to show that there are many paths they can choose to take. Leading by example is the best way to show girls how they can achieve, and Inspiring Girls puts real women in front of girls to talk about their experiences.

It’s been an amazing two years working alongside Inspiring Girls. Dr Celin Gelgec and I volunteer as the Program Development Directors and program facilitators, which has been deeply humbling and exciting. Since we joined the organisation, Inspiring Girls Australia (IGA) has officially launched, rolled out its core program to an incredible group of students at McKinnon Secondary College and expanded to partner with Mattel for delivery of the Inspiring Girls X Mattel Barbie Dream Gap program for students in prep to grade 2. Our Inspiring Girls team has expanded as has our database of volunteer role models eager to meet and inspire Australian students. An absolute whirlwind.

Last year, time spent with students while delivering the program demonstrated how downtrodden and afraid girls can feel, and how preoccupied with issues of appearance and judgement from others they can be. It was also eye opening to be shown how complicated it is for some girls to participate in a STEM pathway at school, and how self-conscious many girls feel about their career dreams.  It also amazed us that in 2022, girls are still being discouraged from ‘male’ careers by the adults in their lives. It was in these moments that the power of discussion spaces like these was reinforced. Over the course of the program, girls found ways to articulate to the group just how awesome they are and we witnessed the students lifting each other up. And when the students connected with the volunteer role models and heard their career stories, they lit up with feelings of optimism and opportunity.

Our hope is that the experiences we help create for students through Inspiring Girls will be long lasting, and that we will have the opportunity to inspire many more girls in years to come. This has been an extraordinarily enriching experience for Celin and I and an aspect of our Melbourne Wellbeing Group’s work that we are extremely proud of. We are looking forward to all that is to come in 2023 and beyond.

For more information on the Dream Gap head to https://shop.mattel.com/pages/barbie-dream-gap.

For more information on Inspiring Girls or to discover how you or your school could get involved, head to https://www.inspiring-girls.com.au/

This blog was written and prepared by Dr Tori Miller – Associate Director and Clinical Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.