Avoidance. Boy we’re great at it aren’t we? As soon as anything becomes even remotely painful we want to avoid it. Why?
Learning to enjoy spending time on your own
Learning to enjoy your own company can be a valuable skill that promotes personal growth and mental wellbeing. While it may seem intimidating or lonely at first, being comfortable with solitude can ultimately lead to a more fulfilling and peaceful life. Here are some tips on how to learn to enjoy time on your own:
1. Start small
If the idea of being alone for extended periods of time makes you feel uneasy, start by spending small amounts of time on your own. For example, you could take yourself out for a coffee or lunch break, go for a walk in nature, or try a new hobby that you can do solo.
2. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness meditation is an excellent way to cultivate self-awareness and become more comfortable with your thoughts and emotions. By practicing mindfulness regularly, you can learn to be present in the moment and appreciate your surroundings without the need for external distractions.
3. Engage in self-care
Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential for feeling good about yourself and enjoying time alone. Make sure to exercise, eat nutritious foods, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
4. Develop a solo hobby
Finding a hobby that you enjoy doing alone can be a great way to learn to enjoy time on your own. Consider taking up a creative pursuit like painting, drawing, or writing, or learning a new skill like cooking or gardening.
5. Connect with yourself
Spend time reflecting on your values, goals, and interests. Journaling or creating a vision board can be a helpful way to connect with yourself and gain a better understanding of what brings you fulfillment and happiness.
6. Embrace solitude
It's important to reframe your mindset around being alone. Instead of thinking of it as a negative experience, embrace solitude as a valuable opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
7. Seek support if needed
Be aware of signs that you are struggling to enjoy time on your own. This can look like making sure your calendar is very busy to avoid any down time on your own. It can also look like feeling nervous in anticipation of an evening or weekend with little organised. You may also notice a sense of urgency to schedule something else in if a plan is cancelled. If you find that you're struggling to enjoy time on your own, seek support from a mental health professional. They can help you work through any underlying fears or anxieties that may be holding you back.
Learning to enjoy time on your own can be a transformative experience that enhances your overall wellbeing and personal growth. By following these tips and being patient with yourself, you can develop a greater sense of self-awareness, self-love, and contentment in your own company.
If this is something you struggle with and you would like to talk to someone, please don’t hesitate to give our team a call on (03) 9882 8874 or email admin@melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au
This blog was written and prepared by Hannah Gersh – Psychologist at Melbourne Wellbeing Group.
Tips to improve your self-esteem
Self-esteem refers to our overall evaluation of ourselves, including how we think and feel about our abilities, appearance, and worth as a person. Having healthy self-esteem is important because it can affect many aspects of our lives, including our relationships, career success, and mental health. While it is normal to have moments of self-doubt, there are things we can do to improve our self-esteem over time.
Teaching consent to our children
Consent is a crucial concept that is easily overlooked when it comes to children's education. However, it is essential to teach children about the importance of understanding boundaries and respecting others' choices from an early age. Sexual consent is a critical aspect of personal development and healthy relationships, and it is crucial to start teaching children about consent to prevent sexual assault and boundary violations.
Teaching children about consent involves educating them on body autonomy and the right to say no. They must understand that nobody has the right to touch or be touched without their consent. By teaching children about consent, we empower them to retain control over their bodies and know their boundaries. This then helps them to develop assertive behaviours that can help them navigate challenging or threatening situations in the future.
Children who understand consent are more likely to develop healthy relationships that are centred around equality, respect, and trust. They understand that in any relationship, everyone has personal boundaries that must be respected, and these boundaries may differ from person to person. By understanding these boundaries and respecting them, children can develop healthy social skills and maintain positive relationships with their peers throughout their lives.
Teaching children about consent also helps to create a culture that promotes safety and respect. This includes teaching them how to ask permission before touching someone, even if it seems harmless, like a hug or a high five. It also encourages them to speak up if someone crosses their boundaries, and to respect others if they decline physical contact. These concepts can help to prevent situations that might escalate into harmful actions.
To help your child or children to learn about consent, here are some things that you can try:
Begin with the basics: Start with a definition of consent and emphasize that it is freely given and mutual. Explain what it means to say yes and what it means to say no in any situation. You can start this when your children are very young.
Encourage communication: Encourage your child to communicate openly with their friends and partners to ensure consent. Show them examples of how to ask for and get consent.
Discuss boundaries: Talk about personal boundaries and what they mean. Explain that boundaries should be respected and that everyone has different limits.
Discuss power dynamics: Discuss the power dynamics that can play a role in sexual and non-sexual situations, such as age, gender, and race. Explain why it is important to consider these dynamics when obtaining consent.
Use modelling: Show your child how to give and receive consent by doing it yourself.
Address peer pressure: Discuss how peer pressure can affect consent. Explain that it is never okay to pressure someone into doing something they are uncomfortable with.
Teach affirmative consent: Teach affirmative consent, where both people are actively engaged in the sexual and non-sexual activity and enthusiastic about the experience. Explain that silence or passivity is not consent.
Address consent in media: Discuss how the media portrays consent and why it is important to differentiate between portrayals of healthy consent and unhealthy situations.
Encourage ongoing education: Encourage your child to continue learning about consent and to seek out resources for more information. Remind them that consent is an ongoing process and that communication is key.
This blog was written and prepared by Dr Tori Miller, Clinical Psychologist and Associate Director. For support on issues of consent and boundaries, contact our team on 9882 8874 or email us at admin@melbournewellbeinggroup.com.au
Why being triggered is normal and healthy.
Emotional development: Why it's important.
The very first relationships we grow to develop are those with our parent/s. From the minute we’re conceived we start to develop a familiarity with what’s going on around us. When we’re born, we start to develop relationships with those around us. The way a baby cries, laughs, smiles, coos, etc all influences how others respond and is equally influenced by how they respond back. It’s a way of getting our needs met and it’s also a way of ensuring ongoing development. So what happens when our emotional development is compromised based on these early childhood relationships?